One year ago today I entered hospital to have my lymph nodes removed and my breast margins cleared.
I felt as if my world, my life, my love life and everything else was over for me. I thought I was going to die and thought about jumping out of the window.
It wasn’t selfish. At the time, I didn’t want my kids to watch me die; I wanted them to remember how I lived.
But that is what happens to you when the cancer bomb descends. Your emotions make for a Molotov of fear, rebellion and accidental Hedonism.
One year on, I want to say – “take a look at me now!”
I will never be totally in the clear, I have a very very aggressive and bad cancer and I will have to be on my toes forever. I still have a 5cm lump on my liver that is being watched as well as some other problems – but hell.... with what I have been through that is a walk in the park!!
Last night I managed to organise an Indian fashion show with 18 girls and with over 200 visitors in Seeheim. It went amazingly and everyone congratulated me. Hardly anyone knew I had cancer and it felt great.
If I can do it..... so can you.
Don’t give up. Bena