I am skipping past the death of my beloved dad and grandmother. This is not an easy decision; but the enormity of cancer has carved its way to the top of my worst year in history list.
Thank-fully, the year of cancer is now over. Yesterday marked the day I found the lump. The ugly, impressively monster like mass of cancer that would go on to change me and the rest of my life forever.
I am feeling emotional, worried and anxious. I should be feeling positive, energetic and alive. I suppose I am feeling all of these emotions but they are packaged in a Pandora ’s Box of emotions. Right now, as I sit here – I feel humbled.
Chemo is the tops the single worst thing that I have been through in my entire life. I feel as though I have knocked on the gates of Heaven but am back for a second chance. With my type of cancer being so aggressive I also am aware that this cancer will come back at some point.
I am not sure how to feel about that. Right now I want to pave the way for an impressive new life for me and my children.
It is making me very sad to think about it –but I wanted to share that the crucial first year mark with you … and if I were in Star Trek I would hold out my hand and scream “live long and prosper”.
Thank-you to everyone that has supported me. I really appreciate it.